HI, I'M KATE D'ANVERS

Portrait of Kate D’Anvers, relationship counsellor, smiling in front of a teal background.

Relationship counsellor, psychologist and ADHD specialist

About me

Hi, I’m Kate D’Anvers, a registered psychologist originally from New Zealand. I work with couples who are living abroad and need help to navigate challenges and build stronger, happier, more resilient relationships. I have a lot of experience working with high-conflict couples and couples who have tried therapy before but not found it particularly helpful.

I also specialise in working with couples where one or both partners have ADHD (diagnosed or suspected). I have worked with adults with ADHD for almost 25 years and been married to a delightfully disorganised individual with ADHD for almost ten and these experiences have given me a deep understanding of both the positive and more challenging impacts that ADHD has on relationships.

I use the Gottman Method for couples therapy in my work as I think its structure and intuitive systems make it a great fit for couples with ADHD and Autism.

Currently I’m only offering regular appointments online. (Marathon sessions* are in person)

*I also provide 'marathon-therapy' (less painful than it sounds!). We meet for 2 days of intensive therapy - an excellent way to repair old hurts, learn and practice new ways of communication and rebuild connection in days instead of months.
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Couples counselling

I offer structured counselling sessions focused on helping you and your partner…

Understand what’s been going wrong in your relationship
Develop better ways of communicating with each other
Improve your conflict resolution abilities - fight less and fight right
Rebuild friendship, love, affection and respect for each other
Build a future you can both look forward to
Manage cultural challenges
Navigate parenting issues

Couples counselling for ADHD

ADHD couples counselling is just like regular couples counselling except with an additional focus on ADHD awareness, education, understanding and strategies for both parties. Some of these might include:

Improve communication skills. ADHD can create communication challenges, but it also brings unique strengths. By understanding these dynamics, partners can work together to develop more effective, supportive dialogues
Manage emotional reactions. People with ADHD often experience ALL their emotions intensely. This can be wonderful when sharing positive experiences but challenging when in conflict. Both parties can learn many ways to moderate harmful emotional reactions
Tackle the ‘consistently inconsistent’ behaviour. Despite best intentions, strategies to help often work one week and not the next. Understanding more about ADHD and its impact can help reduce these intensely frustrating (and often shame-inducing) cycles
Rebuild love and admiration. The initial stages of an ADHD relationship can be wonderfully intense but can set the stage for later expectations that can't always be met from either side. Counselling can help rebuild the connection and admiration that connected you both initially
Repairing after conflict. Rejection sensitivity (RSD) is one reason why people with ADHD shut down or get defensive after conflict. Understanding and finding strategies as a team for this can be such a game changer in relationships!

Contact

Unfortunately I am not taking on new clients

If you'd prefer a phone call please just mark that in the booking link and I will call you at the time you have requested. There is no charge for introductory calls.

Contact me

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Costs

Couples counselling sessions are €230 for 80 minutes, with the option of longer sessions on request. I’ve found that for high conflict and ADHD couples, meeting every two weeks for longer offers significantly greater impact than traditional shorter weekly sessions (too rushed, too easy to get overwhelmed). At the end of each session I'll send you a brief summary of what we have discussed and any plans we made and we'll work out together the best way for me to check in between sessions.

For information about marathon counselling (2 days, in-person) please contact me.